Love & Marriage

We agree that the wedding is a one-time event. Marriage is a lifetime. So let's forget about the fancy creative weddings for a little bit and just talk about marriage shall we? But don't expect me to complain about marriage or go on the safe side. This marriage entry will still get honestly rebellious. 

They say that you have to work hard on a marriage. That very statement is so negative. That's why I would much rather say, HAVE FUN WITH MARRIAGE, and LOVE IT EVEN HARDER. 

Photography by One Happy Story

In this special 2-Year Wedding Anniversary, Black & White Collaboration Shoot that we had with the amazingly talented Cagayan De Oro-based photographers One Happy Story headed by Bon Aserios, it's all about taking a moment of silence. In a wondrous place that feels like you are in an entirely different age of the planet. A place to reflect. 

My husband and I always joke about what our Facebook friends might probably think about us. Showbiz? Not a care in the world? Too excessive? Oblivious? Unrealistic? Too weird to be too happy? Cocky? Parades their happy marriage too much? Far from it though, we have so many unusual external challenges in our lives that are stressful and complicated that I will never wish for anyone else to experience them. Everybody has problems. Every marriage has its herculean difficulties. The difference is how you deal with it. We just choose to live in the moment, have fun, and positivize everything and we don't really care how many people roll their eyes at how we choose to live. Because we are plain happy. We choose to be. And I wish we can impart this to you--yes you there RB reader. To continue the magic, happiness, and resilience you showed during wedding preps and apply it forever in your marriage.

Some would say that they are "Too busy to travel". They will even say, "Maybe you can squeeze it in your schedule. Maybe you have the time. We just don't". "Too broke or too busy worrying about saving up to enjoy", they will tell you. Well guess what. So are we. I work in a TV Network. Cy works in the Hotel & Restaurant industry. Those two are some of the most toxic, and most stressful working environments to be in. And to be quite honest, we are not rich either. Yes we are fortunate and grateful for all the blessings we receive and we enjoy what we can spend on, but we don't have deep pockets at all. But we never complain. On the contrary, we are happy with our situation, we couldn't ask for more, and we make sure to enjoy life so that we have enough happy memories to survive. If you always say nasty things like: "Oh, I'm too busy to this and that--maybe YOU can do it, but I just can't",  go ahead and imbibe this, and thrive in the negativity  as much as you want but don't complain about your sorry life if you do so. Life is too short. One mega typhoon cannot even save your expensive bags or your paper-made money. One quake can hit your bank today, and tomorrow you will have lost your savings that your bank can't seem to recover. So live. And enjoy your marriage. 

 
Now let's talk about having kids for second, shall we? Because once you get married, people will pressure you almost every single day to get pregnant. And you haven't even barely conceived your first born, everybody will be badgering you about having a second baby. 

Now imagine 2 years of being PESTERED by other people to have a baby (but thank god our own families and parents don't pressure us). We already have a soon-to-be-seven-year-old daughter, a daughter who right now deals with her "modern family". She has two sets of families--she has a 'Dada', a 'Papa', a 'Mama', a 'Mimi Kai', two siblings in her other side of the family, several grandmas and lolas, it's hard to keep up that she doesn't even know what to really call my own parents. And we have to routinely have to positively work out weekend custody and child support. Again, a situation I would never wish upon anyone to ever experience. Like I said, our marriage is far from perfect. But again, WE HAVE FUN WITH IT EVEN HARDER. And right now, WE ARE HAPPY WITH TAYLOR. Meaning we do not plan on having kids indefinitely. Can we move on now?  

Because marriage is not just about having kids. It does not make you less of a woman or a wife if you don't want that right now in your life.  Let's not forget also that it's about two people who love each other. Two people that can contribute to society and the world in so many other ways. As a newly wed, you will also experience this. Don't feel obligated and feel pressured to have kids 'till you are truly ready--financially, emotionally, and physically. Don't force it. Don't get bullied into doing it. A baby is NOT A CUTE PUPPY. Those people pestering you is just infatuated with the idea of being able to play with your baby. Will they actually pay for diapers? Will they pay for tuition? 

If you are experiencing baby pressure right now, here's a trick I learned from my own husband. When stuck in one of those annoying conversations about having a second child, Cy asks the person: "Bakit namin kailangan sundan? (Why do we need to have a second baby now?)" Then the person becomes taken aback, not expecting this question and the person will likely reply to him: "La lang. Para masaya" (Just to be happy). You know what my husband says point blank? "Why? We're happy. We're very happy". And the person just can't seem to answer anything to that so they just leave him alone. 

When you were single, you longed to find the one. And it felt like a lifetime to finally find the person you'd wanna spend the rest of your life with. So don't you deserve to just savour every moment together, just the two of you? Don't you deserve to be happy and not be badgered with baby talk every single day? 

Now don't get me wrong---I have nothing against babies and being pregnant. But I just feel really bad for young married couples who are being pressured to get pregnant when these things should be the personal decision of the couple--at their own pace and time.

Ask us today about our long-term plans and it won't sound serious with investments and insurances. More like, our long-terms plans would sound like hopes and dreams. We live in the NOW, and enjoy every morning coffees, conversations, and adventures together. Friends call us the "forever newlyweds or the eternal newlyweds". Strangers, like sales ladies always mistake us for an "about-to-be-married" BF/GF. I hardly think we already have the experience & knowledge of a 50-year old couple but I would say this is how I'd want to keep my marriage alive--to always keep it young, keep it fun, and keep it fuss-free. 

ABOUT THIS SHOOT


When we were still just BF/GF, Cy & I used to celebrate our monthsaries differently--we even used to compete on how to surprise each other. I even had a blog before that focused on monthsaries. Now that we're married, we've kept the tradition by doing something special during our annivesaries. For our first year we crossed out a bucket list item by experiencing a Vegas wedding. For our second year, we thought of going on a "Galmping Trip" (glamorous glamping) with a shoot component. Why did we want to have a shoot component? Because my husband was on the Cohen program and lost a TON of weight. He doesn't even resemble his own self in our wedding photos/videos anymore!

We were initially planning a bohemian type of shoot w/ One Happy Story. Logistics wasn't on our favor so I decided to change the concept to Black & White. Here's the mood board I sent Bon Aserios:

Google Images

After the shoot, Bon said that Rebellious Brides helped them step out of their comfort zone because they haven't done anything this dramatic. The truth is, this was also a first for us. We are also not used to have such a dramatic shoot. And we weren't also used to not being so made up. But that's what makes it rebellious don't you think? Being in an ALL black & white shoot. Having to focus on just natural faces is pretty different nowadays. A certain famous international wedding blog doesn't even allow black & white photos to be submitted and featured in their site. But I say why not? Doing an all-out B&W shoot is no laughing matter. It's an art of its own. 

Cy & I have been photographed by a LOT of local photographers. And Rebellious Brides has worked with a TON of artists as well. One Happy Story surprised us and exceeded our expectations. Their photos... their talent...takes our breath away. 

It's finally time to reveal where we did our shoot. Watch out for it. In the meantime, any guesses where this paradise is? :)

Summer is here, and we are finally kicking it off by revealing our special island discovery :) Watch out for that! 

More on One Happy Story HERE

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