Gentle Reminder: Manners Matter

Understandably, when you are planning your wedding you go through a lot of stress. There are times when you are just really a bundle of nerves, tempers rise, and you have a gazillion things running through your head. But at the end of the day our dear rebellious brides and grooms, there's a difference between "trabaho lang, walang personalan" (this is just work, it's not personal) and treating your wedding team in a more well-mannered way. Please do not forget that manners matter.

When you hire your dream wedding team, you went through a grueling process on who to get. The mere fact that you went through so much trouble, thought, and heart into selecting your team, means you admire their work and you have high respect for their craft. And just because you pay good money, doesn't give you the license to forget that they are the people you hired to make your wedding a reality.  Think of your wedding team as your partners. You artists. Your wedding family. Think of them this way and you instantly change your mindset into giving them a little bit more kindness.

We once asked someone from the wedding industry to share with us her most favorite wedding that she's ever worked on. She said that it's not the most creative. It's not the most extravagant. Her favorites are the weddings that have genuinely kind brides and grooms. She says the kindest couples inspire them to do more---not that they don't do their best because they always strive for the best service--but when the couple is so nice, you just innately wanna go that extra mile.

Good manners are supposed to be natural. But just in case you get so caught up in the wedding that you manage to forget them, please, PRETTY PLEASE, don't forget these basic things:

1. PLEASE feed your team - Some of you will probably say, "Of course! Isn't that a given?" while some of you might say, "That's not my problem. I already paid a lot of money--isn't that supposed to be part of it?" or "Can't they just feed themselves?"

For better appreciation, please understand that the people working their hardest during your wedding are your wedding partners. Their call-time is usually very early in the morning--everyone on their team will be deployed doing stuff for your wedding. They will be on-the-job with very little breaks. Some of them even have to work on same day edits working without a blink of an eye, trying their darnest to meet a deadline. You hired them to be on-call the entire day--they don't have time to think of their food. Imagine YOURSELF working the whole day from 8:00AM to 11:00PM without as much as water or a fruit. Will your survive? Imagine yourself stuck in a client meeting the whole day and the client didn't even bother to feed you and lunch had already passed. Do you think you will be able to think straight? Now imagine your team having to do that, and even worse--they are running around doing a bit of cardio. Bending over backwards to capture that perfect shot, sweating like a pig trying to cut themselves into halves to multi-task for you--so that hopefully things will be perfect the way you've envisioned your wedding to be. And you won't feed them???? It does not make sense PERIOD. Whether you assign someone to pack meals for them or you include them in your reception, the important thing is you feed them and keep them dehydrated. Please also don't just give them money to buy their food...when you want them to be there for your wedding every second and every minute, they simply just don't have the time to step out and look for something to eat. Seriously folks--if you can afford to have a wedding in a swanky place, and can't even find budget to feed your wedding team, it's just not right.

2. PLEASE inquire nicely - If someone emails you this, which email request makes you want to reply the fastest?

Email #1 "Email me your rates. I need it now."

Email #2 "Hi (Insert name of wedding company or wedding artist here), may I please request for a copy of your rates? My wedding details are as follows XXXX. BTW, I really love your work and I really hope you're still available on our wedding day. Thank you in advance :) "

We'll leave it at that.

3. PLEASE provide comfort - We are not saying you need to treat your team like VIPs or spoil them to death, We are also not saying that they are picky. In fact, most of them are really super troopers who are more than willing to do the job despite harsh conditions. But at the very least, provide some comfort and ease--a decent place to stay, a place to keep their equipment safe, a place where they can sit down, a space conducive to what they have to do. And if you need to fly your team, if they don't have a wedding the day before your wedding, fly them 1 day earlier. How do you feel when you travel? Isn't it exhausting? Imagine having to travel then work immediately after. How would you feel? Also, what would you do if their flight gets delayed? Imagine having to go through your wedding preps and you still didn't have your team with you. Will it be worth saving more money knowing a crucial element of your wedding might go down the drain?

4. PLEASE keep your friends and family in the loop - You may know who you hired, but your friends and family may not know who they are. Their credentials. The kind of work they do. Sometimes, it's the guest who becomes unnecessarily irate to your coordinator. Sometimes it's your mom who might rudely shout at your photographer. Sometimes, it's your best friend who will complain and nitpick on your designer's work -- because they just didn't know any better. Either you ask your friends/family to treat your team nicely or apologize in their behalf if an incident happens. 

Photo from: londonreidblog.com

5. PLEASE say thank you - At the end of the day, your team just wants to be recognized for their work. After your wedding, give them your heartfelt appreciation for what they have done for your wedding. THANK YOU. Very simple but powerful words. An attitude of gratitude goes a long, long way. Again, very basic. But you'll be surprised that some manage to forget.

It's simple really. Positive attracts more positivity. Gratitude attracts more of the good stuff. Don't forget your manners. Always remember that even if you hired your team and they are getting paid for their services, it doesn't mean you can channel all your pent up frustrations on them or power-trip on them. The Philippine industry is oozing with so much talent. Most of them are game-changers, award-winning, esteemed, respected, seasoned. Use the same basic logic with how you treat your doctor, your lawyer--they are the experts in their field and you automatically treat them with much more respect, same goes for your team. Manners matter. When someone is nice to you, you just love working with them, you feel so much more inspired, and the whole vibe of the day changes and just makes things so much lighter.

This is just a gentle reminder, not intentionally written to refer to anyone in particular. "Ang tamaan huwag sana magalit" (if you are guilty, don't get mad). So PLEASE also be careful when leaving a comment--mind your manners :)

*follow us on twitter! @RebelliousBride

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