 |
| Creating a parody out of superstition is much more fun! |
"I've been an avid follower of your blog. I was just wondering if you guys still believe in Sukob. If somebody within your family will get married the same year as yours, you have to wait for another year so that there won't be bad luck or misfortune.
So here's the thing. I've been married with my husband by law a month before our daughter was born. Last year, my husband and I got into a random conversation of making our dream wedding come true, so we started targeting 2013 as our year. And while we were starting to look for suppliers, we realized that they usually increase their rates every year. We calculated our budget and checked if we could push it through by 2012. Kaya naman. We couldn't keep our excitement so we told our parents and family about it early last year.
Then here comes an elder sister of mine, telling that she's planning to get married soon. I thought "soon" meant to be planning for 2013. But she said that she wanted this year. So my first selflessly reaction was Wooohooo! Sa wakas! She's turning 30 this year and everybody's married already. I was very happy that finally somebody will be there for her forever.
I actually do not believe in superstitious beliefs, but there's this saying that there's no harm if you just follow. We chose to be wed in December but it's the month that I first said "Yes" to my husband, not just for wedding season's sake. I don't care if our wedding date isn't included in the auspicious dates of 2012 because I only believe that there's a higher being that will continually bless our marriage whatever state we are in.
Now, when I tell people or friends that my sister and I are getting married the same year, all of them said, "Edi sukob yung kasal mo". And even if I don't believe that, there's a negative energy that crashes my heart and it bothers me. So I defend myself by saying that I don't believe in Sukob. And for some, a way for me not to get too upset is to think that I'm already married anyway. But it feels really discouraging. What if we're not civilly married, would they still choose to believe or not?"
Read on!
 |
| cartoonstock.com |
Hi there!
I don't think you owe anyone an explanation. Sukob is such a backward way of thinking. I don't believe in the superstition although I think the reason siblings try not to get married in the same year is for their relatives abroad to have a breather in terms of going home. Or for financial reasons. Now, I don't see that you've done anything wrong to feel bad for yourself. Lalo na at kasal ka na! Civil is considered married. But again, you don't have to explain that to anyone. So let go of the negative vibes and relish on the giddy feeling that getting married (again) gives you. And if someone tells you, "sukob kayo!" just smile and shrug it off :)
Feel better!
RB Mica
------
RB Kai here! I think that more than the Sukob concept, it is the negative energy that is surrounding you that will attract bad luck. I believe that the more pressing issue is if you and your sister are okay with sharing the limelight because a potential bride war might be the "misfortune" here and not the superstition per se. But if you guys are beyond that, then this could be the perfect year for both of you to just bond and savor every moment. Coming from a rebellious bride who went to all her gown fittings with her husband, didn't wear white, didn't wear a veil among other anti-superstition decisions and you can say that I definitely don't believe in Sukob. Don't listen to the people around you that are scaring you. It is all about the LOVE and the positive attitude. Now if you are referring to the Sukob that involves a relative dying on the same year, that's a different story--I don't believe in the superstition behind that but I think you need to pursue a wedding after a death in the most respectful way you possibly can.
 |
| weddingbycolor.com |
Other points to consider - if you are in the same situation, and you are super close to your sister, instead of thinking of Sukob, how about creating a joint-themed-sister-wedding around it? Or how about warding off the evil energy and "fight superstition with superstition" by creating a wedding theme around lucky charms? Four-leaf clovers, wishing wells, horseshoes, etc. as your wedding elements could very well be the answer to making you feel good on your wedding day!
If the wedding year's issue is just because of wedding rates, note that if you pay downpayments in 2012 for your 2013 wedding, you should be able to negotiate for rate-increase protection.
So guys what do you think of Sukob? Comment away but keep it clean please? No need to get your claws out for this one right? ;)
"Sukob" is a purely Filipino idea. Isn't it? I've never heard anyone outside Manila think having more than one wedding in a family is a bad luck thing.
ReplyDeleteMy take on wedding superstitions is... if it's not a universal idea (like, the Sun being the center of the solar system idea)... it's definitely not getting your heart broken.
I hope this reader cheers up na. :)
Ivy
Sukob's really about the financial capacity of a family.
ReplyDeletebecause weddings would entail an out of the ordinary spending,(same goes for emergencies ie death/funeral preparations), having more than one of these in a year is considered to be burdensome. To an extent- the succeeding wedding will be less grand than the one before it simply because the resources aren't enough. This idea just became melodramatic that people would think one couple is more blessed and the other won't be. As far as I know, this is how the whole tradition started and it dates back to the Spanish era.
Now as my response- how people see sukob now is truly baseless (and i seriously think that tagalog movie ingrained it deeper to the pinoy psyche! haha) and should not even be taken seriously.
1) As working and responsible individuals like you and your husband: I think most of us couples now pay for our own weddings. And we do not pass this burden to our families to financially support us.
2)You guys are married already! inis how people around make a fuss about these things
3) No offense, but the saying "wala naman mawawala kapag di sumunod sa superstition" is countered by the Catholic church. There's nothing in the Bible and the doctrine that says this so don't stress yourself ;) superstitions and faith are never used side by side.
4) Maybe you can plan the wedding together? My friends had weddings in the same year and they got to negotiate with some suppliers for even a little bit discount or freebies. might as well give it a shot. otherwise- it helps to have someone to talk about wedding preps :)
Smile and take it easy! no need to explain to anyone ;)
Me and wife got married last year (civil) and my brother last January of this year and we're planning to get married again this year in a Catholic Church. I'm a nonbeliever when it comes to this, but what's disturbs me the most is the people who believe this and criticism from them. Anyhow thanks for the information.
ReplyDelete