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Warning folks. This blog will...in the rarest of occasions, going to turn negative and downright ugly.
Here in Rebellious Brides, even if we pride ourselves for saying what we want to say, for challenging old-school beliefs, and for replacing traditions with our own, we always try to be as cheerful and pleasant about it. We avoid being negative at all costs even when it comes to our most controversial of blog posts. But we feel that an Ugly Truth needs to be finally revealed, so that brides (and grooms) will be warned of this ugliness once and for all.
There's something nasty that no one seems to warn you about while you are planning your wedding. I guess, nobody speaks of it openly because it's just too sad. But again, it has to finally come out. And even if it means that we have to be the ones to finally be vocal about this white elephant in the room, so be it.
Spreading irreverence
one rebel bride at a time.
More to come soon!
Roll Credits:
Photography by Mark Cantalejo
Makeup by The Makeup of Mica
Gowns by Mitzi Quelindrino-Bustos & Sassa Jimenez
Head Candies by Bonsai Fojas of Bonne
On Location at Pontefino Batangas
follow us on twitter! @RebelliousBride
I just want to share a possible positive spin on this topic...
ReplyDeleteThis happened to me and my sister. I got engaged first and announced our wedding date a week later. Months after, my sister got engaged too. Mine is a destination wedding, she decided hers will be too. Then she decided that she wanted to get married before us even though we got engaged first. I was infuriated but I didn't want to show it so I retorted to giving her a hard time and talking behind her back about how she's stealing my thunder. Half-way through her preps I realized, I was wrong. It doesn't matter whether or not I had legitimate reasons for how I felt, she's still my sister. I apologized and gave her my 100% support for her big day.
My point is, sometimes people have good reasons for their attitude (maybe it's too much to expect your guests to pay $1000 for your day or maybe the bride is fed up with the food requests) but if the friendship is worth it, then swallow your pride. These things happen but it can be mended. No need to cross them off your friends list.
It's quite clear that those who are DEFENSIVE have a lot to say, have a lot of explaining to do, and seems to be experts in saying bad stuff about their friends. Shallow? Tell that to the face of brides who have been lied to and who have been said bad things behind their backs. Tell that to brides who have been so nice to her friends and have been treated like a doormat instead. You don't know SH*T. Anonymous. Or maybe you do now sh*t because you are guilty.
DeleteHi, ladies! We really hope that you never, ever lose a friend. That all can be easily mended. Given a choice, I would have wanted to still be friends. But sometimes, in certain circumstances, even if you've already swallowed your pride and cried buckets of tears, there are just some friends who will choose to hurt you and ignore you. I pray that that never happens to all of you.
DeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling in my heart about this for a few weeks now and I'm just happy I read this today. Thank you. This is not a negative post; it serves as a friendly warning because it happens in real life.
-via facebook-
ReplyDeletewaaah too true! a few stories came to mind while i was reading this post. thanks for the tag girls! :)
-via facebook-
ReplyDeleteNa-stress naman ako dito I'm not even getting married yet! Hehe I shall be a friend / guest with the best etiquette from now on!
Someone had to say this. It had to be done. (Dramatic pause) It had to be done.
ReplyDelete-via twitter-
ReplyDeleteHahaha. I felt I was reading a fashion police blind item. Good read :-)
Oh my God!!!! A lot of friendships will be saved because of this post....
ReplyDeleteYou find your TRUE FRIENDS (and even family) when you are planning a wedding, during the wedding, and even post wedding!- so TRUE! Having gone through one, we made a vow to PAY IT FORWARD- be helpful/supportive, positive, happy, grateful for anyone about to get married, GOOD VIBES all the way. Thanks for this expose, hopefully more people will be AWARE of this ugly truth, and for those "guilty", to get off it!
ReplyDeletethank you so much for this post RB. friends who pose as if they ACTUALLY CARE are not so easy to single out. it takes a lot of soul searching and even tears. again, gathering enough COURAGE to say, THIS IS MY WEDDING..I GET TO DECIDE WHAT I WANT is not easy. My wedding is this December, and I let go of not just one, not three or even four "friends"...it proved to be liberating once I did.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmm, I was a bride too, so I understand it when you say that IT IS YOUR DAY and it is a moment in your life that is going to be truly special, BUT one difference you and I have is that when I planned mine, I planned a wedding because I wanted to be married under God's name and with the blessing of family and friends. Needless to say, my wedding is nothing without them. Therefore, I could've worn the most spectacular gown but if the most important people in my life couldn't make it, then it defeats the purpose.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was planning my wedding, my parents talked to me. They told me to make sure not to put my guests through all the hassle - and I knew that they were right. Therefore, I planned my dream wedding, without compromising the comfort and convenience of my guests. I wanted EVERYONE in my list to attend, not because I wanted them to see me walk down the aisle, but because I wanted them to bear witness. Otherwise, if I didn't care at all, then I shouldn't have bothered inviting anyone.
And as for destination weddings, I've attended a destination wedding, once (a few years after I got married), for which I had to painstakingly shell out P17.000 for fare and P12,000 for accommodations. You have to agree, not everyone has money to shoulder that, yet you people who want to FULFILL your lavish "rebellious" dreams, could not care less because you have a budget. I think you have forgotten that while you have prepared for THIS DAY, the others might have just wanted to attend and witness --- but you have made it too difficult for them to say "yes" and to "confirm". That your demands, as a bride, could no longer be met. Let's just put it this way, how normal is it for you to spend as much as P30,000 as a gift for a wedding? Sometimes one has to learn to look at things from a different perspective.
You have to know this, though, when my friend got married, I went to her destination wedding and I enjoyed it. As a friend, I attended in support of my friends and I did not say a word. I chose to hide it because I did not want to hurt her feelings and I did it, too, because I did not want to end our friendship. If she chose to be blind, I won't --- and I was able to save our friendship. I love my friend. I did not understand why she had to put us through that, but it wasn't worth losing her for. NB. It doesn't mean that I am not in pain when I think about the P30,000 that I spent.
"You'll know who your friends are when you are planning your wedding." You know what? I gained back more friends and did not lose any, when I was planning mine. So this statement --- does not apply to all. JUST TO RIDICULOUS DIVA BRIDES.
Whoa! This should be filed under BRIDEZILLA. Maybe we should right about that too, to be fair. But for this topic, we're talking about friends who really get out of their way to hurt you. Of course, at the end of the day, everyone wants to patch things up. The UGLY TRUTH is, not everyone has a happily ever after friendship. And I that's the truth :)
DeleteHello Anonymous,
DeleteOur blog is clearly not for everyone. If you find us to be "Ridiculous Diva Brides", then READ ANOTHER BLOG. SIMPLE AS THAT. Blogs cater to different tastes and personalities. But for you to even judge us? For you to ARROGANTLY and IGNORANTLY say that: "BUT one difference you and I have is that when I planned mine, I planned a wedding because I wanted to be married under God's name and with the blessing of family and friends." -- That is just way too mean. You don't even know us personally! So get lost. Read another blog. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. And if you want to stay in our blog and keep commenting, I dare you to email us right now, and expose who you are. Let's see who this self-righteous person is who planned a wedding for the right reasons and we didn't. Face us HEAD ON.
No one is trying to belittle your effort here. Let me be clear: I applaud creative brides and grooms but this is a post done in bad taste because it is irresponsible. You complain about friends that are not willing to pay, but that is your wedding anyway, why should someone PAY FOR IT? You complain about guests that cancel, then they shouldn't have written RSVP on the invites.
DeleteWhen you wrote this post you should have expected that people will have opinions to your ridiculous interpretations of things.
THESE COMPLAINTS FROM YOUR READERS, THEY'RE REASONABLE AND TYPICAL. I FEEL SO BAD FOR BRIDES THAT HAD TO GO THROUGH THEIR OWN VERSIONS OF FRIENDZILLAS:
"Dear Rebellious Brides, I didn't realize that there can be entourage/guest-zillas! I'm so stressed!!!" -- V
"Why don't you write a piece about how friends should act during weddings? Some of them can be so rude!" -- B
"Hey RB, I wish I knew there were going to be flakers! A little consideration would've been really helpful. But at least that made me realize who my real friends are, and made me discover those who really know proper etiquette." -- W
"I'm sick and busy with wedding preps. Some guests can be SO DEMANDING!" -- H
BUT THEN, IT IS ANOTHER THING TO COMPLAIN WITHOUT PROPER CAUSE BECAUSE MAYBE, YOU WERE THE CAUSE.
Wow men ang lalim. Mejo nanlalait na sa mismong wedding ito ah! Mejo hindi na siya part ng topic! Tsk tsk
DeleteHow very convenient to leave parts of the things that were written in this post. Excuse me but the blog topic was not about RSVPs and MONEY. There were OTHER situations that were included in the post. And they are meant to warn that it COULD happen. The operative word being COULD. But looks like the lot of you just nitpicked on certain sentences. How convenient! If we are being irresponsible, again, you are more than welcome to read other blogs that are to your liking. We are very well aware that we only cater to a certain bride, but there is no cause to actually call us names and judge our own wedding decisions. Those are very below the belt. So if you are accusing us of being irresponsible, speak for yourself. Again, you are free to read other blogs. Or make one yourself. Because in truth dear, this is our blog so obviously, it will host our own opinions and that of our readers who email us their situation. Once again we urge you to own up to your very hurtful comments and email us who you really are. Because it's not fair that you have seen us, know us, and have already lambasted and judged us to the point of concluding that we have planned our weddings for the "lower reasons" compared to you. No one is forcing you to read our blog. You are free to leave :)
DeleteI was doing some research for my soon-to-be-wedding and I came across this blog. Wow – cat (and dog) fight! I can’t help but comment.
DeleteRebellious Bride Kai – I'm surprised how you handle your ‘ugly’ comments. You said it – “Our blog is clearly not for every one.” I'm sure you know - that as a blogger, you are responsible for what you write. You should expect to receive not just the good comments but of course - the weird ones, the 'advertisement' ones and worst - the 'ugly' ones. Bloggers (and readers!) should respect other reader’s views and comments. Congratulations on your wedding (and Mica too), by the way. It's absolutely gorgeous.
As for the anonymous’ comments - I understand where they are coming from. I wanted to have a destination wedding but I can’t stomach the fact that my guests are paying for their trip + accommodations. I’m often a guest too and I don’t want them to feel the same “oh no-es” or the “gaaaaa” I give out whenever I get invited to a destination wedding - especially when that money could have been for my family.
As for the backstabbing – ahhhh... yes. Indeed - it does not justify the means. But perhaps they did it not to directly hurt you... Perhaps they tried to give the ‘grandest’ excuse thinking it’s the only way you would accept it and not get hurt (and of course - keep the friendship). I’m sure your friends love you (or loved you) and they didn’t do that to hate or despite you especially on your ‘day’.
But on the other side of the story - this is a very effective blog topic! You had a lot of readers (I don't usually read blogs) with a lot of comments (though not much of the expected ones - including mine!). Errr - congratulations?
Cheer up gals! It’s Wednesday! *duh*
I'm confused. It's a wedding...not a fashion show. Why has it become a circus, a carnival, so worldly and materialistic? Wedding is just one day, it's the marriage that all of you has to focus on.
ReplyDeleteHi, confused Anonymous! For us, it is a given that you work on your marriage. But this is a wedding blog. Specifically, to feature or serve as inspiration for creative and unique weddings. We're not saying you do the same (we don't appeal to everyone, of course). We're also not telling you to spend beyond your means and be materialistic. You can wed any way you want, yes, even without the circus and the carnival. But please don't judge the ones who choose to wed with some "oomph." It doesn't mean their marriage is not something they don't focus on :) Some of the most creative couples I know have a truly happy married life :)
DeleteHi confused, just because a wedding is creative, doesn't mean that the couple is materialistic. In fact, some people get creative because they don't have the budget for a wedding so they try to be resourceful. A couple with a creative wedding doesn't also mean that they don't work on their marriage or that have lost sight of their marriage. In fact some couples become creative together to show that they have a teamwork so to even suggest that? I'm sorry but that's just plain judgmental.
DeleteDear Confused Person:
DeleteTrue, a wedding is just one day, but it is one of the most important days of your life. To me, It's the celebration of the beginning of my life together with my wife. Its the unity of two families and its a symbolic gesture of our love. Its a day of celebration and by making it creative and truly personalized is the utmost important because it presents who you are as a couple.
The backstabbing happens when friends could not stomach anymore the pretension of the wedding. To the diva brides, especially those who had their weddings decades ago, nothing is more excruciating to your friends than hear you STILL RAMBLE on and on and on about your wedding. It’s done with. Fantastic show. Let’s move on!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Totally totally totally! You were a bride for a day. Now, you're just someone else's wife. And please... enough with the fucking zillas! Guestzilla, friendzilla, bridezilla. Argh! Ok, one can be a Nazi bitch due to the pressure of the wedding. If the wedding weren't that circus-y, then no one would get the thrilla of the zilla. Like what backstabbing anonymous said, move on, bellas.
DeleteI agree!I'm currently planning my wedding for 2013, and this one friend of mine keeps gushing on and on about how perfect hers was, because she planned it all by herself and everyone said it was perfect and no one else in our group of friends have even come close to how fun hers was. I am open to suggestions, but for her to keep rubbing it in my face on how she should be the one to plan my wedding because she's had the experience in planning a perfect wedding, and to tell me that hers is the best one anyways, well, its just crazy.
DeleteYou know what's so funny about this post? Here:
ReplyDelete"Friends who will come up with the grandest of excuses not to be able to attend your wedding" ---> When I got married, I did not get a 100% attendance from both family and friends, but I didn't mind because they also have lives to live. Some of them, really busy. Some of them, living far. If you throw a destination wedding, then you should be even more understanding because UNLESS YOU PAY FOR EVERYTHING, then you have the right to complain.
"Friends who will not be willing to spend time and money for your destination wedding even if you are the best of friends" ---> Are you seriously complaining about this? Spending money is not a requisite for friendship, even time.
I'm not a bride, but I kind of experienced this. My friend had a destination wedding. Some of us told her upfront that we cannot afford to go to her wedding because her wedding date was December and it's a peak season. She was very understanding and paid for our expenses. It wasn't the case with her other friends who lied to her and made up some excuses. Since they didn't tell her the truth, she didn't offer to pay for their trip. Honesty is the best policy.
DeleteIn general, I think everyone has a concept of what a friendship is and what it is not. But to say that time is not a requisite to a friendship? Man that is very twisted. Money is a shallow interpretation of the argument. Money is only a means or a representation of the effort to go to the most important day of your friend's life. If money is a problem, I agree with *just a guest that you should be upfront about it. Who knows? By being upfront, it might have solved the money matters. And you know what is funny about this comment? HERE: It is very defensive.
DeleteGeez.... defensive much??
DeleteWow guys. Thanks for the comments! It does nothing but even confirm that there are friends who have their claws out. Even going as far as explaining why the backstabbing is valid? Even going as far as defending having excuses (note that grandest of excuses mean saying so many different reasons not to attend the wedding, only to find out that it's not the truth). At the end of the day, if you are a real friend, you just don't backstab or lie period. PERIOD. Whether you find your friend's wedding superficial, or whatever it is, if you are a friend, you just don't do these things PERIOD--especially when the bride friend speaks nothing but great things about you and has supported your own whims.
ReplyDeleteThe subject of this blog being "The Ugly Truth", if you read the context of how it was written, it is meant to warn brides of the things that COULD happen in their wedding, and it is meant to tell them that they are not alone. As seen on the blog, we have received emails from brides as well so we are trying to answer their emails. The truth hurts, what more if it's an Ugly truth. These things happen, and your comments further shows that they do happen. May we also remind you all, that we did a separate blog feature on the GUEST'S perspective. This is now the BRIDE's perspective. So let's not be greedy by infiltrating even this blog feature dedicated for the brides that feel bullied. You can re-direct your comments in our other blog post called "Rebellious Guests Speak Up"
At the end of the day, if you have nasty things to say here, all it does it show your true colors and oh, bato-bato sa langit ang tamaan huwag magalit :)
"Even going as far as explaining why the backstabbing is valid?" -- oh my god i was just about to write this down too! naunahan mo lang ako sis!
ReplyDeletetsk tsk justifying a wrong doesn't make it right haller???
i was a bride once too. 5 years ago. and let's hope that what happened to me may not happen to you all. lalu na sa mga haters.
i had an out-of-town wedding in batangas. everything we paid for. we gave transpo and rooms for our friends. walang babayaran. pero the reasons for them not to attend sobrang dami. so i don't think money is always the issue here. pag may solution ako sa "excuse" nila, may isa pang ibang excuse. i was the first to get married in our group. imagine buong barkada ko, hindi pumunta. hindi ba masakit yun? coincidence lang ba yun? was it asking for too much?
hindi ko na sila friends ngayon. not just because of the wedding but because i reflected on the situation and that's when i realized na yung wedding was just parang the culmination pero matagal na nila akong niloloko. may times pala na sila lang ang lumalabas, intentionally leaving me out. parang ako lang, if ayaw niyo saakin, eh di sige dapat noon pa.
but it's true what they say na, you eventually find your real friends nga. kasi all my best friends now, are people i met after my wedding. wives of my husband's friends. and ibang klase naman ang support and love that i found in them. so yung friends ko before, parang distant friends nalang sila. plastican nalang. pero as much as possible, i avoid them. i never got an explanation from them. never got a closure. but i know that they are no longer worth my time.
so thank you for this post. if your blog existed 5 years ago, siguro mas na pre-prepare ako sa mga expectations and baka mas na handle ng maayos. it's a relief to know na hindi lang pala ako. thanks mga sis!
See? That's how you plan. You prepare for the convenience of your guests. Sometimes kasi some brides are not sensitive. Kapag nagsabi ang friends na "mejo ang laki" ng gastos --- magagalit kayo? From there palang, you should already know that budget is an issue and they shouldn't have to explain themselves. I'm sorry. I had a wedding. I had my own version of "bridezilla wants" but to go to lengths to make the guests pay for everything, that is not my dream wedding. My dream wedding is one where all my friends and family can come, and no one has to feel bad or has to feel forced to pay.
DeleteEveryone is thinking that the "defensive" posts are written to gang up on brides. We've been brides too, so that is not the point. There are bad guests. Guests who do not RSVP and guests who cancel at the last minute. I felt bad when that happened to our wedding. But it is not cause to hate. There is nothing wrong with planning a beautiful wedding. I've been to some and I enjoyed my time, completely. But when the bride and groom, is so wrapped up in their own world and forgetting that once or twice the costs have been raised and they say: "we're already paying for our families. you can't expect us to pay for everyone else".
THEN THE so-called FRIENDZILLAS whom you all SAID SHOULDN'T HAVE LIED did the most noble thing of still shelling out money. To give to the bride and groom, that ONE DAY which is theirs.
Again let me stress this out: There are guestzillas, bridezillas, friendzilla, MIL-zillas in weddings. I hate all the "zillas". I hate moms that meddle and friends that make weird demands and guests that make a mess of things. BUT then let's go to the BRIDES: because there are bridezillas that have weird requests and that's funny and cute, and I don't mind supporting that. But there are BRIDES that are just SELFISH. I am not attacking all brides because I was a bride too. I am attacking BRIDES that do not care.
THAT IS THE BRIDE THAT I HATE.
Agree! Brides that do not care, I hate too. Brides na 'It's my party so I'll cry if I want to'. Those brides are annoying and it makes me want to get married again, invite them, just so they could feel how it is to have to pay for everything. Ay, free food nga naman pala. So di free everything. KKB sa pamasahe at accommodations, consolation prize, free food.
DeleteAt least they got their dream wedding. Sorry nlang, maraming asar sa iyo pagkatapos.
Wow pati pag iyak ng bride pinatulan. Grabe. Evilness to the max! Nakakatawa basahin ito ah!
DeleteI lost my bestfriend during my wedding planning, and everything you just said is true! Sometimes some people can be really greedy and they can't be happy for you, even if they know that when it is time for them to get married, they will get your 100% support.
ReplyDeleteHi everyone! I'd like to tell you a story about what happened to my husband. Our wedding was just in Manila but his best man was based somewhere else. His best man was filthy rich and yet he was not willing to spend on his ticket to fly back to Manila. My husband felt bad about it, and luckily they eventually got over it. But when situations like this happen when you least expect it, it definitely makes you wonder doesn't it? It's not necessarily about the money because I agree that it is a shallow view of friendship. But take out the issue of money and it is just plain lack of commitment or effort.
ReplyDeletePlease re-direct your bride or groom concerns in this post instead: http://rebelliousbride.blogspot.com/2011/08/rebellious-guests-speak-up.html
ReplyDeleteThere is a proper venue for everything. This post was really meant for brides who have been INTENTIONALLY hurt by so-called friends. If it strikes a chord, well then it should be a cause for a reflection whether you are a bride or a friend. At any rate, go to the other blog post called Rebellious Guests Speak Up! That's your own venue.
Dear confused Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteyou must have had a terrible, TERRIBLE wedding to match the terrible, TERRIBLE marriage.
it's hilarious how much effort you're putting into raging against the authors in a blog that is clearly not made for self-entitled bible-thumping, kitchen-cleaning, self-righteous, narrow-minded, breast-beating, seemingly-perfect-at-least-in-her-own-skewed-perspective brides such as yourself. I suggest you read another blogs that don't celebrate the kind of imagination and festivity only a wedding can bring.
Or you might want to start your own. I heard the domain name naziweddings.com hasn't been taken yet.
This doesn't make any sense. And how can you even conclude that Confused Anonymous has a terrible marriage? She wasn't even raging. She was perplexed. You're raging. Ease up on the juice, man. Hahaha!
Deletei'm not raging :) i think you are. get a grip.
ReplyDeleteWow this thread is so freakin' funny! Listen to all of you! Some are frustrated bloggers themselves with their long-ass comments.
ReplyDeletethis is is a very entertaining post and love it because the truth is you're all "zillas".
ReplyDelete***the diva brides are zillas because keber sila kung ano pa ang sitwasyon ng guest, para lang bongga si wedding, iba?
***the friends are zillas because they probably want to attend, but if kailangan gumastos (more than the gift and the outfit) no nlang noh! friendship over ito!
bottom line, dapat may learning:
1. brides, if you cannot afford to fly your guests to your destination, wag na magambition. kasi face it, hasslehoff sya. otherwise, don't complain if some people can't make it and if people will make foul excuses kasi di mo yun control. di ka nga ma-control sa whims mo, sa sagot ng tao, you want to control. dapat fair ka!
2. guests, if you do not want to go because you can't just say it. choice na ni bride and groom is FO kayo after. you can also just look at it na mega vacay na ito no, so spend ka and make the most of it. pero kung di kaya ng budget, don't force yourself.
3. weddings are supposed to bring people together. if your wedding is tearing people apart then there's something wrong about it, find out why, and try to resolve it.
4. wag magpost ng nega expecting na puro *clap clap* and makukuha mo.
5. wag magcomment ng nega masyado kasi kawawa naman si blog owner
6. wag na kasi magblog!
7. wag magpakasal!
8. stop this shit.
hahahahaha!!! now this one is a good read! clap clap clap!
DeleteHahahahahaha!!!! You're so funny!
Delete9.Dapat d pikon si blogger kasi it's natural that they'd get loads of feedback. Negative or whatever shit. Basta, who gives? The thing is, you stirred a lot of emotions just by reading your article. Which is a good thing. It comes with the territory.
"weddings are supposed to bring people together. if your wedding is tearing people apart then there's something wrong about it, find out why, and try to resolve it".
Delete--> This is so true. I don't care anymore about what both sides have to say, but this is the most important thing, I think, that I've read here. If you're losing people and are willing to lose people, then what does it say about you and your priorities? This goes for both sides.
Let go. She didn't attend the wedding... Let go.
Let go. She planned a ridiculous wedding... Let go.
This is an interesting read...
ReplyDeleteChill...everyone's becoming a "zilla" here.
I think this topic was posted because people were already asking for advice or the "Rebellious Brides" opinion.
Yes, there are 2 sides to every story. In this case, it's the bride's and the friend's. The bride has every right to do whatever she pleases with her wedding. If the friend can't come because of whatever reason, she has to understand that. And the friend in return should just give out the real reason for not attending. Simple as that. The dent in the friendship happens when the BACKSTABBING starts. I don't even get why this happens--if you're really friends.
And I'd like to say thank you to the Rebellious Brides for always giving me something interesting to read! When I get married, I hope you can help me out :)
DeleteHi Anonymous! Thank you for the kind words and of course, we will help you when it's your time for that roller coaster ride of planning a wedding :) Just holler!
Delete-mica
Andaming Anonymous. Mas masaya kapag magkakakilala...para wala nang FRIENDZILLA. Yours truly,
ReplyDeleteAnother Anonymous
Just passing through girls... (holding a white flag)... I'm probably the only man commenting on this post and boy, did I walk into a shirt storm of Oprah, The View and The Talk.
ReplyDeleteThe entry started with:
"Warning folks. This blog will...in the rarest of occasions, going to turn negative and downright ugly."
Its safe to say, it has done that. From my perspective, there are a lot of anonymous ladies here who are using this post as their time to defend themselves from something that they have done in the past.... and boy, the guilt is spread quite thick. So please don't take it out on the blog owners.
Anyhow, I've got to go and share this with my fiance... this is down right interesting. Thanks for the heads up ladies.
Not a bridezilla. Not a friendzilla. I am just a reader who thinks that destination weddings are for people who can afford, and I've heard similar stories from friends. It is annoying that brides and grooms think that just because it is their special day, they can have it all.
DeleteSome people just have opinions and I stand for the guests that have been bullied by diva brides. Let's not assume that the people who have opinions are guilty. Maybe some of us just found this irritating.
... and maybe some are just smart enough to read between the lines and the true purpose of this post.
Delete-AIDA
If you ended your friendships because of a wedding, just sure hope your marriage wont:)
ReplyDeleteinteresting blog, to say the least. while i am not a bride (nor have been a bride), i can appreciate the blogger's point of view. in events like this - and it's not only in weddings really, you will see people's true colors. As a part- time event coordinator, i've seen friends start running away from me when i start asking for help or favors. Do i take it to heart and get offended? sometimes but on the other hand, i know who I can run to when i am in a jam. friends serve different purposes in our lives. i know who to turn to when i need a drinking buddy. i know who to turn to when i need a listening ear. i know who to turn to when i need another set of hands. and these people aren't necessarily the same ones.
ReplyDeletehowever, the one statement in the blog really chafes my nerves is the statement "friends who will not be willing to spend time and money for your destination wedding even if you are the best of friends". true - honesty is the best policy. if you can't afford to travel for a friend's wedding, then it is your responsibility to tell the bride/groom the truth. If you're having a destination wedding, unless you're paying for everybody, don't expect everyone to show up. and no, not everyone has that much disposable incomes as you apparently do.
as for single friends who start distancing themselves from a soon-to-be bride (or a married friend) - consider this: If ALL you talk about is your married life and how wonderful it is, then no wonder they start fading away. i am happy for you but, dude, it would be nice if you ask me once in a while how my life is. I will ask you how you are but please do not devote all of our time together talking about your wedding preps or your husband-to-be or married life. That, my friends, is when I start walking away from married or soon-to-be married friends. Does that make me a bad friend? yup but right back at ya.
Dearest friends and friendzillas alike,
ReplyDeleteThis will probably be my last time to comment here because this is going around in circles already.
To those who have directly sent us their sweet messages of support, thank you!
To those who have participated in this thread, thank you! This is the most number of comments we've gotten in our blog thus far! So ugly or nice, we appreciate it.
To those who have said that we are brave for exposing the Ugly Truth, thank you. In history, those who uncover truths have been thrown stones by society and we are well aware of that. But like we said, this is a sad and ugly truth that no one talks about so we wanted to open it even if it means being lambasted even on a personal level outside of the context of the write-up. Our commitment is to our readers who are going through tough times, and not the haters.
To those who have said the write-up is irresponsible, thank you for your thoughts but here's ours: is it really irresponsible to share the voices of brides who feel a certain feeling that you may not be feeling yourselves? This write-up took MONTHS to build on--took lots of interviews and experiences from other brides and grooms, took answering private messages sent to us of what brides are going through. So if you don't share the same sentiments, that's completely fine! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion! But being irresponsible is when you go off-topic to attack people and going as far as judging our own weddings and marriages.
And finally, to those who have written the ugliest of comments, THANK YOU. Because no matter how irresponsible you say the write-up is, your comments have actually proven the point of the Ugly Truth. In our minds, the uglier your comments, the stronger our case becomes because it exposes the twisted, defensive minds of a friendzilla--and whether you deny this or not, it doesn't matter because that's what it looks like to us anyway and even if you comment a thousand more ugly words, to us it just proves The Ugly Truth :)
Till the next topic!
PS. To reiterate, there is another article in our blog called Rebellious Guests Speak Up. To those of you who want to complain more, you can re-direct your comments there because that's really the venue to do it.
Oh and once again, to those who are directly appalled by our rebelliousness, thank you for taking the time to visit our blog, and you are free to read a different blog that is to your liking. If our blog offends you or ticks you in a certain way, you are free to go and no one is forcing you to read our blog :)
I agree with the other person that said this thread is funny! What makes me laugh are the fortune-tellers here na hinuhulaan lang yung mga kwento behind the broken friendships eh hindi naman sinabi sa blog kung anu-ano yung mga pinanggalingan pero hinulaan na nung iba. Henyo pala kayo eh!
ReplyDeleteHi again, dear readers, friends and ex-friends. There is no right or wrong feeling so there is no right or wrong comment. We're not saying agre with us as well but ease up on the negatives, folks! Relax, this is just a blog ;) But given that you are all our captured audience, do read this for healthier relationships: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/01/29/20-things-to-start-doing-in-your-relationships/#more-410
ReplyDeleteNot just because we lost friends, doesn't mean we're mean brats or divas (I really am called Mica Diva on my birth certificate btw) and there are stories behind these so please don't take them out of context :)
P.s. As suggested by one of our readers, I'd like to say to all of you, "point taken but this blog really was meant to lend support to bride's ( this is a wedding blog, after all) :)
P.p.s. And may you never lose a friend but may you never keep holding on to an unhealthy relationship (same goes for married life) Life is short. There is nothin wrong with choosing your friends :)
Erratum:
ReplyDelete*agree
*not just because we lost friends it means we're brats or divas
*lend support to bride's dilemmas
*nothing wrong
Sorry at ang aga pa! But waking up to more negative comments had me replying! Hahaha!
-mica
I think I'm a rebellious guest, not a bride (hopefully this has an operative YET in the end) I only attend weddings of friends I'll want to have on my wedding day. I think that says a lot about my friendships and what I'll do for them.
ReplyDeleteI have attended a destination wedding (car ride lang naman) and quite enjoyed it. I still think of it as one of the best ones I've attended. People weren't expected to bring gifts since the couple know that they will spend for transpo and maybe accommodations too if they are going to spend the night (which turned out easy to circumvent when a group of our friends shacked up together in one room). If there's a will, there's a way; sabi nga nila...
And another input on account of being creative and expenses and all that... While I don't see myself spending a GRAND amount on my wedding, I would like it to be special and that's where creativity strikes... That's where the Rebellious Brides Blog can be helpful.
As to the negative comments and the general negativity, isang boteng beer lang katapat niyan. Chill. :D
"friends who will not be willing to spend time and money for your destination wedding even if you are the best of friends". - expect a lot of bashing with this statement. A bride should not feel bad if some of her dearest friends won't be able to attend her destination wedding. Not everybody can afford the travel expense. Other than the said statement, I think this blog is fine.
ReplyDeleteHow come there are only pictures?
ReplyDeleteIs there a part of the blog entry that was removed?
I want to read that.
BTW, I came across this entry because I've been backreading, by that I mean reading every single entry. I'm not engaged yet, but who says wedding blogs are only for the engaged people out there.:)