Anti-Reception

One of the most expensive, if not the most expensive expense in a wedding is the reception. Not only is it expensive, some elements that are supposedly traditions of a typical reception are, to be honest, rubbish. Pardon if this offends you, but the cookie-cutter reception is not for every bride and groom--and it saddens me that we are boxed (and bullied) into having a tried-and-tested reception formula even if we personally don't even enjoy it.

Cafe 1771 - a non reception venue idea
Picture on the left from http://callejuan.com/
Picture on the right from J Lucas Reyes

I am anti-reception. What I mean is, personally, I didn't want the usual reception, consisting of a hotel or an events place venue with all of the frou frou you can ever imagine in my own wedding. To me, the best reception is doing it in a non-reception place. I have 5 recommended places here which I will intersperse with my blog write-up. Here goes...

If you are like us, who are sick of the usual reception formula, here's my advice:



Non-Reception Suggestion #1
THAIPAN, Tomas Morato
http://everythinginbudget.blogspot.com/

1. DON'T THINK OF YOUR GUESTS TOO MUCH: I'm sorry to say this but I don't believe in considering the guests in all of your wedding decisions all the time. You can't please everybody and trying to do so will increase your stress levels. 

There's a big difference between making sure your guests are comfortable and having fun on your wedding versus deciding on your ceremony and reception venues based on your guests' location, their preference, their age, their availability, or their side remarks. For god's sake THIS IS YOUR WEDDING. LOVE YOURSELF AND DO WHAT YOU WANT! If they don't support you, if they have nasty things to say behind your back, then you will have discovered who your real loved ones are.

Non-Reception Suggestion #1
THAIPAN, Tomas Morato
http://www.flickr.com/photos/daniele268/5489145977/

2. FOOD IS KING: What is the main reason of having a reception? It's to dine and celebrate this momentous event, right? So in my honest opinion, a reception is a "glorified" mealtime with everyone. So to me, the food is the most essential element to consider. Not the venue, not the program, it's the FOOD. So why even bother with a hotel or a venue that can't even provide you with food that you love. If you are foodies like me and my groom, then food should be the highlight of a reception. Follow your taste buds, let it guide you. Mount your reception in your favorite restaurant instead. At the end of the day, guests want to be FED. Simple as that. 

3. ELIMINATE THE "NICE-TO-HAVES": Look for a restaurant that has good food and amazing ambiance and that's all you will ever need. See your wedding costs GO DOWN with all the things you will have eliminated. The best part is, your wedding will even look more unique, more beautiful, and more personal. And your wedding videographer and your photographers will be so inspired by the charm of your non-reception wedding that your photos and videos are even going to be brilliantly amazing.

Non-Reception Suggestion #1
THAIPAN, Tomas Morato
http://www.flickr.com/photos/daniele268/5489145977/

4. GET A GOOD...IF NOT THE BEST COORDINATOR: Whatever you save from not having your reception in a hotel, you invest in a good coordinator. Why? Because there's one tiny downside with not having your reception in the usual wedding venue--they won't be used to having a wedding, and they would have limited wedding experience or none at all.



Non-Reception Suggestion #1
THAIPAN, Tomas Morato
http://www.flickr.com/photos/daniele268/5489145977/

5. EXPECT A NON-WEDDING SERVICE & LET GO, AND HAVE FUN: As mentioned, if you are having a wedding in a non-wedding venue, then don't expect a reception-like service. Don't expect the servers of the restaurant or the banquets manager to understand every little thing you will need. You'll have to be extra patient. Don't also expect fast food service. Even the likes of McDo, when on a full-house, won't be able to have the same quick service as they would normally have. Once you have accepted this tiny downside, it's time to have fun. What your non-reception venue will offer is a totally different experience. Heavenly food, an inspired ambiance that will give your photos and videos depth, your very own private party, intimate conversations with your guests, flexible ideas that wont have the usual restrictions that hotels and venues impose, the possibilities are endless.


6. DON'T LET YOUR GUEST COUNT CONTROL YOU: Oftentimes, a hotel becomes the default reception venue for the simple reason that it can accommodate more guests. But let me ask you this: do you need all those guests? No ifs, no buts. If you had the opportunity to create the most amazing wedding you could ever dream of, in a venue that truly moves you and inspires you--and it can only accommodate 50-80 pax...then go for it. Seriously. Do you need 300 guests? Do you even know them personally? I'll leave it at that. 

Non Reception Suggestion #2

ROMULO CAFE, TOMAS MORATO

http://www.ourawesomeplanet.com

Non Reception Suggestion #3

VIKINGS, MALL OF ASIA

http://tinitchblogs.blogspot.com

Non Reception Suggestion #4

SKYLINE, VIVERE SUITES ALABANG

http://viveresuites.com/

Non Reception Suggestion #5

CAFE 1771, EL PUEBLO

Whimsy Side - Photos by Calle Juan

Lounge Side
Left Photo by Cholo dela Vega
Upper Right Photo by Arnold Camacho
Lower Right Photo by J Lucas Reyes

Cafe 1771 - The Second Floor
Left Photo by J Lucas Reyes
Right Photo by Cholo dela Vega

Cafe 1771 - The Sidebar
Left Photo & Upper Right Photo by Mango Red
Lower Right Photo by Arnold Camacho

For those of you who don't know me yet, my Boracay wedding last February was fully controlled and conceptualized by me and my groom. We kept the wedding details as a surprise to our friends and family because a) we knew that if they found out about our concept, they'd complain and b) we truly wanted to give our loved ones a taste of Boracay. The result was a non-reception wedding. We did not provide our guests with a reception--we gave our guests an EXPERIENCE. 

Photo by Mango Red

 The usual cookie-cutter wedding in Boracay consisted of a beach front reception in one of its popular Station 1 hotels, with sandcastles, golf carts, and fireworks. While there's nothing wrong with this, my groom and I felt that if we went for this route, we would have given Boracay and our guests a disservice by robbing them off of a real Boracay treat. Hence, we took them to breakfast at Real Coffee, hanging out at Mandala Spa, happy hour at The Tides' sun deck, dinner at True Food, and after-dinner drinks at Bamboo lounge. 

Photo by Arnold Camacho

In terms of the program, there were no first dances, no bouquet throwing, no love story AVP, etc. etc. Instead, we intimately gathered 35 of our closest friends to experience an Indian dinner, 2 of my maids of honor hosted the event, we had our dream team, our best men and maids of honor, and parents give out speeches, and we shared a wedding documentary we prepared that chronicled our wedding preps for one whole year. It was simple, but so powerful and memorable. We managed to convince Jason Magbanua and Amanda Tirol to talk about us--and if you are wedding dorks like us, this was truly awesome.

Photo by Mango Red

Fast forward to one week after the wedding, we had a post-wedding inuman at Sidebar, to celebrate with our friends who weren't invited in Boracay (we were upfront--and honest about this and I recommend you do the same especially if you have a valid reason for limiting your guests to a small number). The party was equally a smashing success. And if I tell you how much our "Bora Hop" costed plus the Sidebar event, it won't even come close to how much a hotel reception would cost. And we had one of the most awesomest non-reception weddings ever.

Photo by J Lucas Reyes

Fast forward again to 4 months after our wedding, wherein we were asked by my parents to have a church wedding in Manila, fully controlled by them, and their coordinator (yes they had her own coordinator), I was given cookie-cutter rules for a traditional reception. They wanted us to dance, my mom was insisting on a love story AVP,  her coordinator wanted to do that garter thing, throwing the bouquet, releasing doves, cutting the cake, I wanted to kick him so hard and punch him. It defied every thing my groom and I stood for, these things were just simply not us. So I did the most sensible thing I could think of--I hosted our own non-reception brunch with our friends, 5 hours before the wedding. My mom got the reception she wanted, but I scrapped 90% of her coordinator's program flow. 

Having a non-reception wedding is quite liberating and fulfilling. Be honest with yourselves. Are you having the usual reception in a hotel/venue because you are just trying to accommodate your guests and your family's preference? Because if that's your most compelling reason, then you need to seriously re-consider your options because IT IS YOUR WEDDING. But at the end of the day, this is not for everyone. However, if you need further convincing, let me tell you that I am not the only one who's had a non-reception wedding. RB Mica will also have a non-reception wedding, our featured Rebellious Brides Nonie, TJ, and Didi also had non-reception weddings.  All I am saying is, if you are the type who is sick of the usual reception venues, there are so many other options out there. Make it happen, have the right attitude, have the balls to follow it through, and work with the best.

What say you? Know of other cool non-reception venues? Got any questions on how to execute a non-reception venue? Comment away! :)

53 comments